Re:Misaki
by Crimson Knights
Summary: Mikan had no idea how she landed up in Misaki's shoes, seeing through her lenses as she sought justice for 'her own death'. Living a double life was difficult but what could be worse than this when a messy raven-black haired stranger entered the crime scene, appearing to know something about her death? "Natsume, believe me. The real 'Mikan' isn't dead. She's right in front of you."
1. Re:Prologue

**Re:Misaki**

Note(s):

1) Any familiar or similar events in this story are not related to any real life people or events at all. They are purely coincidental.

2) The build-up romance of this story is slow paced, so please do not expect the characters to get together quickly. You may see crushes, admirations, or one-sided love along the way.

3) The main genres of this story are mystery, drama and romance.

 **Disclaimer: I don't own either Gakuen Alice or its characters, except for this story plot.**

* * *

Re:Prologue

We were twins. One bigger than the other. You the bigger one, surviving well with chubby cheeks and a few strands of hair on your crown. On the other hand, I was the smaller twin, skinny to the bones with a beautifully clear head. Life is a miracle. I would have died, said Father. I would have been stillborn while you would triumph in the fight for survival. After all, it would have been okay if I hadn't been born. We were once one.

But you were you. I am me. We looked similar, yet we were different. Two different personalities - you being the sharp-tongued one, the intelligent one, the sly one, the one who was loved by everyone, the one who left home first, the one who literally left all of us, and the one who has left all your shit behind for me - the stupider one - to clean up.

Misaki, your last words to me that day were the cruelest thing I had ever wanted to hear from you. You hated me. You looked down on me. I shouldn't have been born. Or rather, there shouldn't have been twins. The two of us should have been one. There should only be one baby whose name would be Misaki. Mikan was irrelevant in the first place.

Maybe that's true. Seeing my existence was entirely erased by you, in literal sense, I have come to realise the truth of my existence. Life is cruelly wonderful. Mikan was longed fated to die while Misaki is fated to live on even after death.

Misaki, never have I ever say this to you but I will say it now. I hate you too. Your name, your existence, and your everything.

Give me back my life. Give me back my existence. I don't want to handle your mess.

I don't want to be Misaki.

* * *

 **Chapter 1 will be posted very soon. Please keep a lookout for it! :)**


	2. Re:One

**Re:Misaki**

* * *

Re:One

Being a social worker has its ups and downs. Some days, I felt like I had done something fulfilling. It felt great to be a humanitarian. Seeing people's smiles after you have helped them and hearing their multiple thanks can make you feel loved and appreciated. To me, it felt as if I was part of the reason for the betterment of their lives. That was the reason I became a social worker after graduating with a psychology degree from a local second-tier university.

Some days, I felt like walking out and hiding myself from the cruel world. Not all people whom you have helped would appreciate you. They would trample your feelings. They would say bad things to you. However, that is part of a social worker's life. I had to deal with these ungrateful people once in awhile, and I was probably immune to this kind of people after working as a social worker for six years. Overall, I was satisfied with my life.

As a 28-year-old woman, life seemed to tune down a little as compared to those days when I had to struggle to stay afloat in university and the first few years of my life as a humanitarian. When I was 25 years old, I was desperately trying to find a potential marriage partner. I never had a boyfriend, not counting the childish and short-lived 'stead' I once had when I was in middle school. Sadly, I still could not find a boyfriend after years of searching. My mother had decided to help me by setting up blind dates but in the end, the men were either not of my interest or totally not interested in me at all.

I felt old. People had been telling me that 28 years old was still young so it was fine to wait for the right guy to appear. However, seeing my ex-classmates and friends had already gotten married while some had already become mothers, I just felt old. It was ironic, I would not deny. Although I did not share this to anyone before, I wanted to get married and stay at home to look after my children, if I could have any, be a good wife and so on. I know, it sounded like a typical school girl's dream. Maybe I was still an immature girl at heart.

In a squatting position, I pried opened a can and poured all the contents into a big plastic bowl. As the oily liquid content was poured out, a few pieces of chicken wings and drumsticks fell out of the can, splashing against the liquid. Some droplets flew straight up to my face and my dirty tee-shirt that had a big logo of the social service community which I was currently attached to on my left chest. I ignored the oily substance trickling down the bridge of my nose. The stain on my shirt could be easily washed too. If I had been in my top and presentable form, I would have made a fuss about the stains. To be honest, I hated weird stuffs on my face, much worse if they trickled down my face. Even when a raindrop hit against my cheek, my mood would make a 180 degree turn for the worst. My friends would always question me why I had such an autonomous response and sometimes, they would use this weakness of mine against me. Frankly, I didn't understand it myself. Maybe I was secretly a clean freak. Or maybe I just hated the feeling of something rolling down my cheeks or nose. It just reminded me of crying.

After pouring the contents out, I threw the can into my garbage bag that was filled with old newspapers and empty paint cans. Just then, I felt a tap on my left shoulder. Turning my head to the side, I looked up and saw my pretty colleague standing beside me with a smile. Her name is Anna Umenomiya. She had long wavy pink-dyed hair. Besides being a social worker, she was an online beauty blogger. She received a lot of sponsorships from various cosmetic brands. She would receive free cosmetics and health products for promoting their products on her blog and videos. Furthermore, having her in our community was an added advantage. She was our branded model for our company. Because of her, we would receive funding from these companies. On our company website, one could see various pictures and videos of her promoting humanitarian jobs. I only had one picture of myself on that website. It was my portfolio though.

Anna squatted too and handed me a styrofoam box. I thanked her as I took the box from her. Before I could open the box to check what was inside, her hands sandwiched the box with her thumb at the edge of the lid.

"I bought pork buns. Your favourite," she said cheerfully as she opened the box for me. "They're still fresh. Let's eat up."

"Uh, thanks, Anna."

I cleared my throat. I had not been talking since the past one hour and I did not realise that my throat was hoarse and dry from all the laborious work. Hearing my raspy voice, Anna shoved a bottle of chilled yellow coloured drink into my bare right hand.

"Luckily, I bought honey lemon for you. Do you know you don't even look well since this morning? I knew something was up. I have told you so many times not to overwork yourself. You should have rested and leave everything to us," Anna chided, opening the bottle cap for me again and gently pushed the bottle towards my lips. "Drink some first. Or else, the chicken and buns won't taste good on your dry throat."

"Our throat doesn't have taste buds."

Anna frowned. "Shut up and drink up."

I chuckled softly, feeling touched by her concern for me. It was not everyday I would receive such concern from anyone. My mother had never cared about me. Not that she was a heartless mother. It was just that she was always so preoccupied with her work that she had no idea what was happening in the household most of the time. She did not even know that my father had an affair with another woman until one fateful day when I had accidentally walked into the our house to find him with the woman. For someone like me who had a slight temper, I kicked the bed and pulled the blanket, revealing the naked pair while demanding the woman to get out of the house. Then, I told my mother about my father and they divorced soon after. Since then, when I was only a middle school student, I learnt to fend for myself because I no longer had a father and my mother was just a missing parcel of my life. I had a sister but she was the same as my mother, equally missing most of the time.

Anna was different. We first met each other during the first day of the training sessions for all new social workers and somehow, we became friends immediately after secretly chatting at the back of the training workshop room. Initially, I found her pretty with her colourful-dyed hair and bright blue eyes. I was not sure if her eyes were naturally blue or she were just putting on some trendy contact lenses. Based on her looks, I thought that she would have this 'princess' personality. But she was not what I had thought of her. Anna was a wonderful person, my confidante and my 'mother' in some aspects. She would scold me whenever I tried to misbehave a little or overwork myself. There was once I missed lunch and she knew about it. Heck. She came over to my apartment with two bags worth of MacDonald's and told me to eat till I grew fat.

Anna knew about my family background and some of my secrets. Basically, we shared secrets with each other like close friends always did without worrying that these secrets would leak. For six years, we had been sticking close together. So close that I wanted to call her my 'sister'. Furthermore, I was hoping that our friendship could hit the seventh year because I heard that friendships that lasted for seven years could last for a last time. I smiled at the thought of a lifetime friendship with Anna. Maybe the sixth year was enough for me to know that our friendship could last forever.

Still in our squatting positions, we started eating the pork buns and chicken meat for lunch. Food tastes best after five hours of hard labour. Earlier, the five of us social workers were busy cleaning up an apartment which was occupied by an elderly. We had to chase and kill cockroaches, replace new furniture and paint the badly stained walls. It was tiring but it seemed that the elderly was a grumpy old man. He scolded us for painting a colour which he did not like. I apologised to him and gave an excuse that my team had failed to check the paint colour code while Anna and the other social worker went out to buy another five cans of paint.

I would say that the mistake should not be blamed entirely on us. The previous team who had interviewed this elderly had written that he wanted lime green colour so we got that colour with the correct colour code. Somewhere along the lines, the previous team must have recorded the old man's words wrongly. The old man wanted bluish-green colour. It was not surprising to see the other three social workers' faces turned red in either embarrassment or anger. The extra amount of money we had spent on buying new paint could not be refunded and as social workers, we were tight on finance. Therefore, as soon as Anna declared our lunch break, the three of them dropped their paint brushes and stomped off to a hawker centre to have their lunch. Anna and I had decided to buy chicken can food from a convenience store and some random food which Anna had proposed to buy from the street stalls. So, there we were, having our lunch in the middle of the corridor just outside the old man's apartment.

"Anna."

"Hm?" Anna looked up and stared quizzically at me with a drumstick sticking out of her mouth.

"My sister is coming back."

The pink-haired girl pulled the drumstick out of her mouth with eyes widened in shock at my words.

"Misaki? She's coming back after so frigging long?"

"Yes. Mother told me yesterday," I replied tiredly. "1st January. She will be home."

"Oh wow." Anna rolled her eyes, pretending to muse. "On her birthday."

"Our birthday."

Anna looked into my eyes and said with a nod, "Yes, in 3 days time."

"Our colleagues usually celebrate my birthday together with the New Year celebration. I guess I won't be attending the celebration this year... I mean, next year." I laughed at my mistake, feeling a little confused as to how the first day of a new year could blow my mind with the time concept. "Have to celebrate with Misaki and Mother."

"It's okay. We can celebrate your birthday on the 31st or the 2nd. Oh, if it's on the 31st, let's have a countdown party!" Anna squealed excitedly. "I will order 4 large pizzas!"

I smiled and chirped happily, "I will look forward to it. Just let me know when, okay?"

Anna nodded and continued to feast on her drumstick. I took a chicken wing from the large bowl and held it in front of my lips for a moment as my mind trailed to my sister.

"I don't hate Misaki."

I could feel Anna's eyes on me again.

"I just hope that she would come home often. I just want a sister whom I can talk to. I don't know why... she can't even look at me into the eye."

"Mikan..." I could hear Anna's sad and worried voice.

"Sometimes, seeing Misaki's pictures makes me think... Why is my memory of her so vague? I don't know a thing about her at all even though we are identical twins." I sighed. "The irony."

Another irony, even though I don't know her very well, I still missed Misaki as if my existence wasn't completed without her beside me. Maybe because we were identical twins, had once shared the same womb, and were once a single living living cell before we were separated... But I wondered if my sister had ever felt this way too.

-:-:-:-

It was past 9pm. I was glad that that we had finally completed the task of 'renovating' the old man's apartment. We were lucky that the apartment was a two-room apartment or else, we couldn't have finished painting the walls within a day. I was dead hungry and tired, feeling the need to replenish my energy with a bowl of instant ramen. So, I pulled my car over to the side of the road, just right outside a convenience store and had a quick supper before heading back home.

As soon as I reached my apartment, I was greeted by my mother who was busying typing her report for her work in the living room, "Welcome back home. You're very late today."

"Not like I am always early either," I muttered softly, making sure she could not hear my retort.

"Mikan, are you free on 30th December?" my mother asked as she continued to look at her laptop screen instead of me.

"Yes, why?"

"I need your help."

"Like what?" I asked curiously.

I thought she would want me to run some errands for her because of the reunion meal or birthday party for both Misaki and me. But I was wrong.

"Misaki called earlier. She wanted my recipes for the Thai-style tom yam soup and mabo tofu," my mother said as she finally glanced at me. "Can you please pass my recipe book to her?"

 _Hell no._

"Tell her to come here and get it herself," I grunted, trying to suppress my anger from rising any further than during the day. "Anyway, she's coming back home. She can get it on 1st January."

Who did Misaki think she was? If she wanted the book, she should have just gotten it herself. She lived so far away from us, yet she expected us to travel from one city to another just to pass a stupid book to her.

"Mikan, she won't be coming home on 1st January."

"Oh? What's her excuse again? So busy with life that she can't even see her family?" I mocked, rolling my eyes upon thinking how ridiculous her excuses would be no matter what she would come out with.

No, I was so sure of the fact that Misaki was just mocking us. The day before, she had said that she would be coming back. Then what? Cancel our plans and excitement? Misaki was still as heartless as ever.

"You must understand your sister's condition. She's studying very hard now and has many work to do. She can't possibly visit us all the time. She is doing... what's that called... ah, research. Please support her, alright?" my mother said in a firm voice, as if she was trying to hold herself back from scolding me for being inconsiderate.

I might be inconsiderate. I might be a foul-mouthed person. But I could guarantee that Misaki was far worse than me. For her to back out as when as she liked, I couldn't say that she was any better than me either.

"Mother, have you ever wondered what she is doing at the other side of the world?" I questioned with a forced smile. "Have you?"

My mother frowned, not saying anything.

"Do you want to follow me to meet Misaki? It has been 2 years since we last met her during her graduation ceremony," I proposed in a rather shaky voice.

To make up for all the negative things I had said about Misaki, my sister was actually a very intelligent girl. By 26 years old, she had completed her PHD and was employed as an academic researcher in a university. She was an honour student and had always been the top student in almost all her academics. Still, no matter how good she was, her attitude was not good at all.

"No, sorry, I can't. I'm busy on the 30th."

I could see how similar Misaki and my mother were. Mother and daughter alike. I was glad that I was not this way. Maybe I was more like my father who was more than willing to run an extra mile for someone whom he loved. I could understand why my father left my mother. Not that I sided my father's wrongdoing. Honestly, I didn't approve of his affair. I hated him for it. However, my mother had brought this upon herself. My father had never received my mother's love and attention like what he had always given her. 'She was always busy and I felt like I don't know your mother anymore,' my father had used to grumble to me during our dinner time. Our dinner time always consisted of me and my father, just the two of us. My mother and Misaki... Well, I didn't know where they were all the time.

Upon seeing my mother looking rather restless from either her rejection or my silence, my shoulders relaxed in defeat and I simply answered her, "It's okay. I will go then."

Anyway, I missed Misaki. I wondered if we still looked alike in terms of appearance. Maybe she had tattoos and ear-piercing. Who knows? I promised myself that I would give her a piece of my mind for randomly cancelling out her visit. Perhaps, we could hang out at a cafe for a drink and chat about life. There were so many things to catch up on.

"Mikan, the recipe book is in my room cabinet. Third compartment. And the book cover is green in colour," my mother informed me before bringing her attention back to her work.

"Okay."

With that response, I left my mother alone and searched for the recipe book.

-:-:-:-

30th December. As soon as I woke up in the morning, I left my house with the recipe book and my handbag. I wore a new dress which I had just bought a week ago. It had a white top and a black bottom, basically a simplistic dress. I seldom wore dresses because of the nature of my job, except for parties and celebrations. Since I was going from one city to another, I was thinking to wear something different to 'chill' myself out.

It took at least five hours for me to travel from Nagoya to Tokyo, having a short break in between to refill my car petrol. By the time I arrived at the new city, it was already past noon and my stomach was growling from hunger. Despite how hungry I was, I decided to meet up with my sister first and perhaps have lunch with her instead. I didn't think she would have lunch at noon or much earlier. I just hoped not.

I fished out my handphone and called her. Almost immediately, she picked up the call with a monotonous voice.

 _"Hello."_

"Misaki, Mikan's speaking. Mother told me to bring the recipe book..."

 _"Where are you now?"_ Misaki interrupted.

"Keio State University... Carpark B, I think."

 _"Okay, go to Building C and take a lift up to the 8th floor. I will see you there."_

Then, she quickly hung up the call. I grimaced at her lack of affect. She sounded so dull, as if talking to me was a pain in the neck. She didn't even let me finish my sentence or hear what I wanted to say. Misaki was still as distant as ever. At least, this time she picked up my call but this was because she had to pick up my call. The other times I had tried to call her were not successful. She would either not pick up the call or cut the line. Technically, this would be the first time we actually spoke to each other since we had last met each other two years ago.

Without further ado, I left the carpark and hunted for Building C which was actually two buildings away from Carpark B. It was my third time here in Keio State University. My first time was two years ago during Misaki's graduation ceremony while the second time was me looking for her last year but in the end, I could not meet up with her because she refused to meet me. I did not know the reason behind her actions but all she had said to the receptionist that she was too busy to meet me.

When I entered Building C, I walked hurriedly towards the elevator lobby as I noticed that the elevator doors had just slid open and a man in formal attire - typical white long-sleeved collared shirt and a long black pants - walked inside the lift. I saw his hand reach out to the elevator buttons and my usual 'scared-to-lose' attitude started to kick in. I started running towards the elevator and called out to the man.

"I'm sorry! Please wait!"

The man looked up and stared at me with the most enchanting eyes I had ever seen. They were crimson-red in colour, I mentally mused as my breath seemed to be taken away from such a rare beautiful eye colour. Oh, that wasn't the point. I had to catch that elevator. However, that man did not seem to be bothered about me and he pressed the lowest button. Giving me a final look as the doors began to close, I could see a glint of mockery in his eyes. Aggravated, I paced up and charged full-speed towards the elevator. The doors were already halfway closed. _10 more inches... 8 more inches... 6 more inches... About there, Mikan!_

"Please excuse me!" I yelled as I inserted my right foot in between the closing doors.

My face lit up as if I had won a race. _Just in time!_

I waited patiently for the elevator to reopen as my foot was sandwiched in between the doors. Thank goodness that I had worn a pair of sports-sandals instead of high heels. It would hurt my feet after running a distance like that and letting my foot be clamped. Within two to three seconds, the doors slid open again and I walked inside the elevator.

I apologised to the man who did not seem to care whether I had just hijacked the elevator in a terrible fashion or not. Rather, he stood at the back, holding his electronic pad and looking at whatever thing on the screen. I pressed the button that had an '8' engraved on it and the doors closed again.

The journey up the building was awkward. The man behind me had not said anything even after I had apologised. Maybe he saw me as a strange person. Or maybe I had irritated him with my shouting. Oh crap! I should not have behaved weirdly on campus. What if the security thought I was a student and had to be detained for causing nuisance? There was CCTV at the concourse, right? I tilted my head upwards and let out a soft gasp. There was a CCTV in the elevator!

Suddenly, the man behind me cleared his throat. Startled, I bought my handbag to the left side of my face and slowly turned my head to the left to catch a glimpse of the man who was still looking at his pad. This time, it was not his eyes that caught my attention. His black hair was messy, yet looked strangely good on him. He had a high pronounced cheekbone which I was dying to have. Also, he had small waist... Okay, to be honest, I did not have a thing for men with small waist. It put me off because they made me so jealous. Why couldn't I have a small waist too?!

" _Ding~_ 8th storey."

For the second time, I was startled and immediately faced the front again. The doors slid open, saving me from the awkwardness. Without further ado, I walked out of the elevator and made a quick turn to my right to hide behind the wall. When the doors closed, I lowered my handbag and heaved a sigh of relief. Looking around me, I noticed that there was only a glass door on the right side and two toilet entrances on the left. Next to the toilets was the exit door with a symbol of a human stickman walking up a flight of stairs. Misaki had to be at the right side, behind the glass door, I thought to myself. So, I headed towards the glass door and pushed it open. I could feel a gush of cold air brush against my face as I passed through the next segment of the 8th floor. There were many rooms lined up along the hallway and I assumed that I had entered into the staffroom. I gulped anxiously. Was I allowed to be in this place? Maybe I should wait outside.

Just when I was about to make a turn back to where I was from, a voice called out to me, "Mikan, here."

I turned to the source and felt myself stop breathing for a moment. There she was, standing next to a room which I guessed was her office... looking just like me, an exact replica. We were apart for so long, yet we hadn't 'deviated' from each other. She was wearing a white sleeveless collared shirt and a knee-level black skater skirt. Even our hairstyle was the same - shoulder-length, hazel brown bob.

"Misaki," I greeted with a smile as I walked towards her. "How are you? It has been so long."

"The book," Misaki demanded as she extended her arm towards me.

With my smile being forced to be wiped off due to her obnoxious response, I stopped in front of her room and began digging for the book inside my handbag. It was no use trying to talk nicely to her. She would not even want to talk to me. Was saying 'I'm fine' or 'I'm not fine' difficult? I took out the recipe book and slapped it on her palm. Opps, I had forgotten to be nice.

"Misaki, Mother is..."

"Thanks," she interjected and pushed open her office door.

Then, she walked into her room. I knew that she did not want to speak to me anymore but I was not going to let her shut me out again. I had so many things to say to her and I was sure that she had so many things to explain to me and our mother. Instead, I opened the door wider and forced myself into the room.

"Misaki, listen. Please come back on the 1st, okay? It has been 2 years. Mother misses you and I..."

"No, I'm not returning. There will be a party here and I have to go," she said, like our mother, refusing to look at me. "I'm in-charged of preparing the meals."

I frowned angrily. Excuses, excuses, excuses. Even if it was not a lie, what she had said was an excuse for not wanting to return home. To me, it just felt this way.

"You can stay here for as long as you want. I'm leaving," Misaki continued to speak, throwing the recipe book on her messy desk and then picking up her handbag.

"Misaki!"

Ignoring me, she pushed me aside and left the room. Clenching my fists, I inhaled deeply and held my breath to recollect my thoughts. I had to be rational here. I could not let Misaki get the better of me and let myself be the only one fussing over this issue. If she wanted to deal with this calmly, I should too. I slowly breathed out, cooling myself down as I held onto the door knob. Even if I couldn't convince her to return home, I still wanted to talk to her in hope to bring back some senses or whatever empathy she had in her. She couldn't be any more missing that she already was in my life. I wanted to know Misaki... all over again.

I headed out of the room and chased after Misaki who was surprisingly taking the stairs at the exit. She purposely didn't want to take the elevator, did she? She knew that I would chase her.

"Misaki, we have to talk," I cried out as I ran down the flight of stairs to catch up with her.

She, too, quickened her steps down the flight of stairs. Fortunately, I was a bit faster than her in terms of physical abilities due to the rough nature of my job. By the 5th storey, I was already in front of her, blocking her way.

"Misaki." I gave her a stern stare as she averted her eyes away from me. "Give me a minute."

"Huh?" she grunted loudly and glared at me. "I don't think we have anything nice to talk about."

"Yes, we do."

"If it is an intelligent one, speak. You have got a minute to do so. I'm counting."

"As busy as ever, huh?" I said in a taunting voice and faked a laugh, shaking my head in disappointment. "I know it may not sound intelligent to you but I think it is important to tell you this."

Misaki narrowed her eyes at me.

I continued, "We miss you. Mother sees you as her pride so please... at least pay her a visit."

"Did she ever miss me? Genuinely?" Misaki asked in a harsh voice. "She hardly has time for us. Did she even care for the family? Even that old man left her because of her neglect!"

"Of course, she does care for us!"

Misaki bellowed, "No, she doesn't. All she does all day is indulging herself with work and more work. Think about it, Mikan. What is your fondest memory of her?"

I fell silent, staring wide eyed at her. There had to be some fond memories of me and my mother. For 28 years, there had to be at least one. My mind was running through my past memories and all I could see was the same thing, like a procedure that had happened many times yet seemed like it had only happened once in my whole life. Mother's weary face.

"Nothing, right?" It was Misaki's turn to laugh, probably trying to mock me as well. "See, I told you. If she does care about me, she would have called me. The only thing she has so-called cared so far was my doctoral degree. Not the process, but the product. She only cared about being there on my graduation ceremony. Other than that, she won't make time for me. For us."

"Mother was busy..."

"Yes, like me."

I felt a knot tied around my throat. I didn't know what to argue with her anymore. I didn't want to agree with her but some things she had said held certain facts that I couldn't deny. Unlike Misaki, my own degree graduation ceremony wasn't something to be happy or proud of. While everyone brought his or her family to the ceremony, I attended alone. I was so used to this loneliness that I didn't even think for once that I was alone.

"You know, Misaki, you can return... just for me. I will always welcome you back," I said softly, reaching out to touch her wrist. "I have always wanted a sister. I mean, we're both sisters. We can share all our pain and worries together. We can..."

"What do you mean by we can? In the first place, we're not sisters. I have never regarded you as one before. Never." She forcefully pulled her wrist out of my grasp. "Look at you. Seeing your face disgust me. How can we look so alike? I really hate you. Your face, your everything. Did that old man ever told you?"

I withdrew my hand and furrowed my eyebrows. "Told me what?"

"That you're supposed to be dead."

I let out a soft gasp. Why did she have to bring this thing up here? I hated this topic and I knew what what she was going to say next.

"We were once one, Mikan. Even during the labour, there should be only one child being born..." Misaki held her index finger up in front of my face. "... alive."

With pleading eyes, I pushed her hand away from me and said, "Misaki, let's not talk about this, okay?"

"And that child is Misaki," she continued with a smirk. "Where did 'Mikan' come from?"

"Stop it," I warned.

"The two of us were supposed to be Misaki."

Just then, I saw red. I had heard enough of her nonsense. As I raised my hand getting ready to give her a tight slap, Misaki skillfully caught my wrist and forcefully pushed it down, causing an imbalance on one side of my body. Before I knew what was happening, I had lost my footing and felt gravity pulling my back. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. I tried to grab onto the railing next to me but I missed it. As I fell even further away from Misaki, I could see her looking at me with desperate eyes. For the first time, I saw Misaki looking at me this way. I didn't know she could make that face, especially towards me the unwanted twin. It somehow made me a little happy to see this side of her.

"Mikan!" Misaki screamed and stretched her arm towards me. "Hold onto me!"

I couldn't do that. If I did, she would fall together with me.

"You stupid!" Misaki yelled again as she lunged forward.

I could feel her whole body pressed against mine and a pair of warm arms wrapped around me.

 _You stupid!_ I mentally yelled in alarm. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around her too, protecting her head with my palms. Then, my back finally landed on the edges of the steps and both of us began tumbling down the stairs. I swore it was not a good experience with the back and the sides of my head hitting hard against the concrete edge. Even my back and buttock hurt.

Finally, we stopped rolling as my back hit against something vertical. I let go of Misaki and painfully sat up, rubbing the back of my head. I did not know if I should be thankful or not. The flight of stairs we had rolled down was only seven steps because we were 'fighting' in the middle of it. Seven steps wouldn't kill a person, would they? I looked down and saw Misaki lying still on the ground. Maybe I was wrong. Seven steps could kill. Seeing her not moving made me shiver in fear. I grasped her arm and began shaking her as my eyes began to sting.

"Misaki? Misaki!" I cried out anxiously. "Why did you do that? Oh my god. Misaki!"

I pressed my hands against my temples, trying to stifle a scream that was threatening to burst out of my lungs. Why did it have to happen this way? Why couldn't we have peace for once? Why...

"I believe it has been more than a minute."

My breath hitched. My eyes slowly trailed down to the figure beneath my nose and caught a pair of similar looking eyes staring coolly back at me.

"Times up. I need to go now," Misaki said dully as she stood up, grabbing her handbag which had just fallen out of her arm.

She walked over to one of the steps and picked up a brown object before chucking it into her handbag. Without saying a single word of 'bye' to me, she began walking down the stairs. Groaning in pain, I stood up unsteadily and limped towards the flight of stairs which she was taking.

"Are you hurt?" I asked worriedly.

She looked up at me and smirked.

"No, I won't be hurt that easily."

With that, she made a turn to another series of stairs and disappeared from my sight. I walked towards my handbag and my other items, such as my water bottle, wallet and handphone, which had all fallen out of the handbag. I quickly picked the items up and stuffed them into my handbag before running down the stairs again to catch up with Misaki, ignoring the throbbing pain on my back and ankles. By the 3rd storey, I realised that I had lost Misaki. Either she had left the stairs by taking an elevator down instead or she indeed had something on between the 5th and 3rd storeys like a meeting, lecture or anything which had got to do with her academic life.

Dropping a sigh, I slowly walked down the stairs to the ground level and headed to Carpark B. I had lost my appetite and I probably would not be having lunch anymore. I wanted to return home quickly and take a good rest. I unlocked my car and sat inside, immediately resting my forehead against the stirring wheel. My head really hurt and I doubt I could drive for the next five hours back to my city. But I couldn't stay here either. Not like I had anything to do here anymore. My job was done and I had to go back for the upcoming countdown party the next day. So, I started the engine and drove off regardless of my throbbing headache.

-:-:-:-

It was already 3.45pm and I was only halfway through my journey back home. I pulled my car over to a petrol station and bought a tank of petroleum for back-up in case I ran out of petrol halfway through the journey. Together with the tank, I also bought a small packet of sweets for myself to chew on so as to distract myself from the pain at the back of my head. Anyway, I needed glucose too to keep myself awake.

At the cashier counter, I took out my wallet from my handbag and used my thumb to flip through the multiple small notes. Weird. I remembered having five large notes and six smaller notes after spending four large notes on refilling my car petrol in the morning. Did I recall wrongly? Maybe my mind was beginning to play tricks on me. The impact on my head must have been so strong that I had gotten myself confused with such a simple recollection of money. Nevertheless, I handed the notes to the cashier and left the station with my paid items. I got into my car and started driving again.

At 4.20pm, I pulled my car over to a random carpark and took a quick nap. Of course, I shut down the car engine and rolled down the window rail halfway at my side. I knew it would be dangerous to leave it fully open because who knew someone would nab me while I was asleep. Anyway, I was hoping that my headache would subside after napping. If not, I had to consult a doctor to check if my head was really injured by the fall. My ankles seemed fine, except for a small bruise just above my right ankle. My back still hurt a little but the pain was not no longer as bad as earlier and also my head.

I didn't know how long I slept until I heard a beep coming from my handphone. I woke up groggily and checked my handphone for the new incoming message. Much to my surprise, it was from Anna. I smiled to myself as I opened the text message.

 _'Mikan, I will miss you so badly.'_

I chuckled. It was only two days ago we had just seen each other. Anyway, we would still be seeing each other soon like on the 31st or 2nd, whichever day we would be celebrating my birthday. But I guessed there would be a countdown party the next night so ultimately, we would still see each other. I ran my fingers against the screen, typing back a reply to her.

 _'Will miss you too, lovely.'_

I placed my handphone on the seat next to me and started the engine again. It was already 7.27pm. I couldn't believe that I had slept for three hours! I would probably reach home around 9pm to 10pm, and that was too long a journey for me to handle. I was getting strangely lethargic and my headache still hadn't subsided yet. Setting out for another round of journey, I drove a little slower than before as my eyes scanned for any small clinic among the shop houses which were lined up along the roadside. Lady Luck was on my side as I chanced upon a big road sign that was written 'Saito Clinic #01-48. Turn Left'. I followed the instruction and went to park my car in another small carpark before heading to the clinic with my handbag.

The queue was long and I had to wait for fifteen minutes to get my queue number at the counter. The clinic assistant requested for my identity card and personal particulars since I was new to this clinic and she needed to create a new database under my name. I gladly complied to the request and took out my wallet. I handed my identity card to her and she began typing the details into the clinic database.

When she was done typing, she returned the card to me and asked, "May I know what condition do you have?"

"I fell down the stairs during the afternoon... around 1pm? And I think I have hit my head really badly... The back of my head hurts till now," I explained.

The clinic assistant looked shocked for a moment before composing herself and then typed my response into the database again.

"So, Harada, do you have any drug allergy?"

"No, I don't..." I paused and stared quizzically at the clinic assistant. "Err... I think you have gotten my name wrong or something. I'm Yukihira."

"Hm? What do you mean?" The clinic assistant looked back at me confused. "Your card says Misaki Harada."

"How can it be?" I said with a laugh and looked down, flipping the card over to see the name.

My smile dropped. Indeed, next to my face, or rather not my face at all, was a name I totally did not recognise. I recognised 'Misaki' but not 'Harada'. However, that was not the point here. Misaki Harada wasn't my name. Mikan Yukihira was.

"I'm sorry. I think... I have mixed my identity card up with my twin sister's," I gave a quick excuse to the confused clinic assistant. "Can I... still see the doctor?"

"Err..." The young lady turned hesitantly to the another assistant who was busying attending to other patients, and then looked back at me with a stressed look on her face. "Yukihira, I'm sorry to say this... but we need your identity card."

Normally, I would have argued my way through, demanding why an identity card was placed before a human's life. It was like, I had just hit my head and I might have some serious issue with my head but because of the fact that I couldn't produce an identity card, I could not see a doctor. Life shouldn't be just black-and-white, or pen-and-paper. Such administrative rules in a medical setting can be broken in some cases, right? Not like I was some suspicious person trying to hijack the clinic either. This time, I felt like it would be useless to even fight my way through. I had better things to deal with at this moment.

"Oh, okay. I will come back later," I lied and left the clinic.

I flipped opened the wallet once more and began pulling all the cards out. True enough, every card had 'Misaki Harada' on it. I frowned deeply as I scanned the wallet. It looked exactly like mine - dark brown in colour with black flowery patterns along the edge - but the contents were different. Furthermore, I could finally understand the reason why there was a discrepancy between my memory of the number of large notes I should have and the strange large number of small notes which I didn't remember having. This wallet was not mine, but was actually my sister's.

I couldn't believe it. Even our wallets were of the same design although I had never thought that she would like this cheap 'old-fashioned' layout. I bought this wallet because not only was it cheap, but it was also pretty. I wondered if Misaki felt the same way too.

I got into my car again and realised that my handphone was still on the seat next to me. I picked it up, planning to give Misaki a call to inform her about our wallets. I bet by now, she would have realised it too. I unlocked my handphone screen and saw an unread message from Anna again.

 _'Who are you?'_

I quirked an eyebrow at her strange message but soon let out another chuckle. Probably the word 'lovely' made her feel gross or something, or she was just trying to be funny. I closed the message and began calling Misaki. The first three calls weren't successful but the final one did. What scared me the most that the voice didn't sound like my sister. The voice was feminine and monotonous as well but it just sounded very different.

 _"Whoever you are, if you are looking for Misaki Harada, she isn't in her office right now."_

I cleared my throat and spoke in a soft voice, "Hi, sorry... may I know when she will..."

 _"Dr Harada?"_

"Yes, Misaki Harada."

 _"Finally, Dr Harada. There were like hundreds of calls trying to reach you. Your mother and some other people called, and like... I don't know how to put this across..."_

"Huh? Mother? No, wait, I'm not..."

 _"No, listen. I'm very sorry to say this but..."_

I heard a deep breathing at the other side of the line and somehow, the mood felt so grave all of a sudden.

 _"Your sister, Mikan, has just passed away."_

* * *

 **Showers are the best time for crazy ideas. I don't know why I suddenly had the urge to write a mystery-drama (romance too!) fic for GA. I have written one for another forum before but that was 3-4 years ago. Anyway, I hope this fanfic will spark some interest in my readers. Jun said that this story would be so hard to write (can't deny though), but I want to see how far I can go with this 'refreshing' idea. See you all in the next chapter!**


	3. Re:Two

**Re:Misaki**

* * *

Re:Two

One of the fondest memories I had with Misaki was when we were 8 years old. Being mischievous little brats, we would switch our seating positions in class and pretended to be each other for a day. Sometimes, we loved to mess with our music teacher's mind. Misaki was a better music player. In contrast, I had no music talent at all. So, during that mind game, Misaki would pretend to play the recorder horribly while I would just play as per normal which was equally horrible. Then, we would look at the music teacher cheekily, letting her try to identify us. The result would be...

Us being sent to the back of the classroom as punishment.

Back then, Misaki was close to me. We played, bathed, slept and studied together. Practically, we did everything together. As our mother was always working, our father would be the one taking care of us. The three of us would have fun together during the weekends, going to different places for picnics or to play.

But everything changed when we were twelve. Misaki left the house. She rarely came back home and each time she saw me, she would shun me or give me a condescending look. I didn't know the reason behind her sudden change of behaviour, even our father got into an argument with her one day as he demanded a reason for her frequent disappearance. Meanwhile, our mother only cared about Misaki's grades.

"That's great, Misaki. Keep up the 'A's. Keep up the good work, then you can go to the best high school."

Then, Misaki would smile at our mother with raised eyebrows and unwavering eyes, and say, "Of course."

-:-:-:-

 _"Mikan has just passed away."_

My heart palpitated at the constant repeat of that stranger's voice in my head. It must be a lie. I was the said person and here I was, driving rapidly towards the direction where I had just came from to meet 'Mikan'. It took less than a second for me to realise that 'Mikan' was actually my sister, Misaki. It was a no-brainer riddle. Because of our switched identity cards, everything was messed up. Besides, the reason why I was panicking was the fact that someone had claimed that she had died. How could it be? I had just met her like... six hours ago? Okay, anything could happen within six hours. But still, what could have happened to Misaki? She said that she wasn't the type who could be easily hurt, right?

Oh gosh. Please let it be a lie.

Throughout my journey back to Tokyo, my head that was once throbbing in pain were totally forgotten as I was too focused on the fact that Misaki was no longer in this world. It was so sudden that I could not feel that her death actually did happen. 30th December could be replayed all over again, right? What I was experiencing at this moment had to be part of my dream. I wanted to wake up from this nightmare soon.

After arriving at Tokyo College Hospital which the stranger had told me about my sister's and mother's whereabouts, I headed to the information counter and obtain the necessary details of 'Mikan'. Just then, I finally realised that I had to face reality. It was believed that Misaki had committed suicide and her body was found right outside of Genki Hotel, a five-star hotel nearby this hospital. Her body was badly in shape, like a porcelain doll which had been thrown out of a window, and there was no hope for revival.

However, despite how badly I wanted to visit Misaki, I wanted to give Misaki's name back for this was what she was supposed to be called even after her death. I was entirely sure that she wouldn't want to die with a useless twin's name. So, I took out her identity card and showed it to the nurse at the counter.

"Actually, this is my sister's identity card. Her real name is Misaki Harada. Just this afternoon, we accidentally took each other's identity card and... so, yeah... Please look into this and change her name from 'Mikan Yukihira' to 'Misaki Harada'," I requested.

The nurse looked at me, confused.

"I am Mikan Yukihira. Misaki Harada is my twin sister and this is her real identity card," I said in a desperate voice and pushed the card towards her. "Please do something about it! Please!"

The nurse hesitantly took the card from my hand and walked towards a senior nurse who was busying doing some administrative work at the other side of the counter. The nurse whispered something to the senior nurse and showed her the card. Then, the senior turned to look at me and I could see a look of scepticism painted all over her face. The senior nurse spoke something to the nurse and the nurse hurriedly attended to me again

"I'm sorry. The hospital will look into this... Please let me know your contact number so we let you know the outcome," the nurse said calmly although her eyes totally betrayed her with a hint of anxiety.

She might be good at hiding her emotions but she could not fool me with those assuring words. For six years, I had been 'reading' eyes - liars' eyes, the eyes of patients with depression, cheaters' eyes and even ex-murderers' eyes - so I could roughly tell the emotions of the person and also if the person was lying. I couldn't read minds but there was some sort of underlying patterns a human would behave under certain circumstances and it just so happened that I had seen too many good liars in my life. Apparently, this one was lying to me and I bet 70% chance that I was correct.

"When can you make the amendment on her death certificate?" I questioned.

"As soon as we are done investigating this issue and upon the approval from the Birth and Death Registrar," she replied, still looking calm and confident at answering another complete lie.

"But I want it need now," I lowered my voice and pointed Misaki's identity card in her hand. "I can't have my name on her death certificate."

"Ma'am." The senior nurse finally stepped in and took the identity card from the nurse. "We will investigate this matter and get back to you and your family as soon as possible. Do note that not only us are looking into this, but also the police."

Then, she held my hand up and placed the identity card on my palm.

"Just saying, this is one serious mess you have gotten yourself into if this is really the case," the senior nurse whispered, making sure only the three of us could hear at the counter.

My eyebrows rose at her statement.

"In the first place, you shouldn't have mixed your card up with hers. The police is going to question you if you are going to show this card to them."

Oh. That was true. Still, I had to do something about our names even if I had to be questioned or jailed for it.

"By the way, her identity card that has your so-called name..."

"That is really my card," I interrupted the senior nurse with a glare.

"Okay, your card that has your name. That card is with the police."

Crap. That meant that I had to go to the police station to get my card and explain the whole story again. Before doing that, I had to visit Misaki first. After getting the details of Misaki's wake, I made my way up to the mortuary and saw a few flower stands lined up outside some of the rooms. I walked towards the room nearest to the elevator which I had just taken and was greeted by the sight of my grieving mother, Anna and my colleagues. Against the wall was an aluminum plate that had words that said 'In memory of Mikan Yukihira' and beneath that plate was my framed photograph which was taken during my high school graduation. The sight of all these made me feel like I was really visiting my own wake. Somehow, I really felt like I had really died and was no longer existing in this world. I clutched my chest and clenched my teeth, trying to suppress the immense sadness I was feeling. The one who had died wasn't me, I mentally told myself, it was Misaki. Just when I wanted to get close to her after all these years, she finally left me for good. What kind of sister she was?! Which sister would leave her sibling behind like this? Please, not like this.

"Misaki!" I heard my mother's crying voice. "Oh my gosh, Misaki!"

I felt a pair of arms wrapped around me and I looked up wearily. My mother was hugging me tightly as she cried tearfully on my shoulder.

"Misaki, Mikan is dead. She can't be dead. No, she can't be! Oh, my poor Mikan."

"Mother, listen." I gently pushed her away from me, making her release her embrace around me. "I'm Mikan."

Her red swollen eyes widened, unable to say anything as she studied my features. Anna walked up to us and placed her hand on my mother's back, looking angrily at me. She looked so pale, even her lips were not the usual lush pink. With her hair bundled in a messy bun and her white oversized shirt that was halfway tucked in her grey pants, I could tell that she had not bothered about her appearance for once and had rushed all the way to Tokyo just to see 'Mikan'. It hurt me to see her like that. Anna always looked so pretty. Before each social work session, she would put on some light make up and dress herself presentable. She would make sure she would still be presentable after the session, unlike me who dressed up in the shirt and jeans and would have dirt all over the face after the session.

While I was lost in my thoughts for a moment, Anna's voice interrupted the silence as she berated, "Listen. That was not a nice thing to say here, Misaki. I know the two of you are identical twins but..."

"I am Mikan! Can't you guys tell? The one in that coffin there is Misaki!"

"Misaki, you're going overboard this time!" my mother yelled and raised her trembling hand, getting ready to slap me across my face.

I swiftly caught her wrist and forcefully brought her hand down. The look on her face became more aggravated than ever. Her mouth twitched, looking as if she wanted to say something but was holding it back. Letting out a loud sigh, my mother shook her hand off from my grasp and pressed the back of her palm against her eyes. After wiping her tears, she looked at me again before glancing away.

"You haven't changed, have you?" she mumbled in a raspy voice due to all the crying and yelling. "I'm sorry for wanting to slap some sense in you... all the time. But every time, you will catch my hand like this."

I frowned at her words. I didn't remember my mother ever trying to slap me. She had never done that. Neither had I ever skillfully stopped anyone from slapping me. Not that I liked getting slap, it was just that I had always gotten slap before I even noticed that there was a palm in front of me. The only person I knew that could stop me from slapping her face was Misaki. She had pushed my hand away on time and that was how the both of us rolled down the stairs that afternoon.

"But like Umenomiya said, this is not the time for your witty comments. Please respect your sister, okay? Mikan really loved you even though she might be a little foul-mouthed. She willingly came all the way to this city just to meet you," my mother continued.

 _No, no, no, I am Mikan! The one should be hearing this is Misaki, not me!_ I had been living with my mother for 28 years. Why couldn't she tell me and Misaki apart? Despite the appearance, I swore that we were totally different in personalities.

"Misaki," Anna spoke again with tears rolling down her pale cheeks. "I don't know much about you but Mikan had been telling me some things about you. Like how amazing you are in your studies and other stuffs such as music and akido. Although she hated the fact that you're always missing, she had never hated you. She just wanted to be with you like sisters do."

Gosh, Anna. We were friends for six years, yet why couldn't you identify me?

I gave up. I walked past the two ladies and my colleagues who were silently watching our little quarrel. I knelt down in front of the wake, brought my hands to my forehead and lowered my upper body until my hands touched my cold ground. Then, I rose again and pressed my palms against each other in front of my chest, closing my eyes in prayer.

"I'm sorry, Misaki," I muttered as softly as I could. "I'm going to give back your name right after this. If you have heard what Anna had said earlier, those were my true feelings. Misaki, this is so sudden. We were doing... at least fine together just now. Why did you commit suicide? What kind of problems you were facing and couldn't tell me anything?"

Suddenly, there was a soft thud in front of me. My eyes flew open and I saw a medium-sized tangerine rolling on the ground towards me. Startled, I stood up and took a few steps back. It scared me for a moment. The fruit had just fell off the offering table and what was even stranger that two joss sticks fell out of the incense pot. One of them were already burnt out despite being the taller one while the shorter one was still lit.

"Damn. This is so creepy."

"And it so happens that tangerine means _mikan_."

"That was what I am saying."

"What if it wasn't suicide? Her eyes weren't closed. That means..."

I spun around and stared hard of my whispering colleagues who were mortified by these 'signs'. To be honest, I was also frightened by what they had just said. It was believed that if someone committed suicide and died with the eyes open, the spirit would come back to the real world to take revenge. But what kind of revenge would Misaki take? I didn't know anything about her so I did not have a slightest idea about what kind of grudges she had before dying. Up to this point, I was still unsure why she had committed suicide and it appeared that no one knew why 'Mikan' had died. I walked over to the fallen tangerine and picked it up.

 _'Mikan...'_

Then, I placed it back on the offering table. As I was about to turn around, the fallen joss sticks caught my eyes again.

 _'Misaki shall prevail as one.'_

I clenched my fists. No way, Misaki. Like hell I was going to let Mikan's life, my own life story, end here. I lowered my head to give my final respect to my sister before walking towards the exit. My mother quickly came over and clutched my arm, looking shock and desperate probably due to my departure.

"Are you leaving now?" she queried. "That's... so fast. Please stay here a little longer, okay? Our relatives are coming here by the bullet train so they will be here in a few minutes."

"Sorry, I have to go now," I said dryly, pulling my arm from her grasp. "I have something important to deal with now."

"What could be more important than your sister, Misaki?!" the woman in front of me yelled. "You are always busy, having something very important to do and not coming home for so many years. You heartless daughter of mine! Mikan was never like you! She might be less intelligent but she had some heart to even care about someone like you."

I looked away, feeling a little guilty for my actions. I knew that I should not be walking out of my sister's wake but getting our names right was my utmost priority. I needed to head to the police station quickly.

"Mother, I will be right back after I have settled some... administrative issues regarding about Mikan," I said in the most rationally calm voice I could muster.

At least it sounded logical this time, right? Not like it was a lie either.

"You can do it later," my mother retorted.

To keep this conversation short, I ignored her suggestion and waved to her. "See you later."

Then, I turned around and walked out of the room. I could hear my colleagues talking about 'Misaki' behind my back, criticising 'her' rude attitude and how weird 'she' was for not shedding a single tear while 'she' was there. Although I wouldn't cry, my eyes and nose would sting, my heart would clench, my throat would turn sour and my mind would feel like it had been frozen. I experienced pain and sadness internally because throughout the years of independence, I had learnt not to express them out and was relatively good at coping with them.

Setting these thoughts aside, I thumped my fist against my chest and told myself to be brave while facing the police. I got into my car and started my journey to the nearest police station. It was already close to 11pm and there were many cars on the road. I went to the very left side of the lane which would lead me to a turn up ahead. That turn would then lead me to street where the police station was. As I was driving, I noticed something strange going on around my car. The car behind me was driving dangerously close to mine while the car next to me seemed to inch closer as if it was trying to cross into my lane but didn't even cross into it when I tried to give way. The funniest thing was that car beside me had black translucent binds covering the side windows. I wondered how the driver could even see where he was driving if he had everything covered except for the rear.

At the 'T' junction, the traffic lights went red and I halted. This time, the car behind me was replaced with a motorcycle while the 'hesitant' car next to me was replaced with a lorry. I heaved a sigh of relief. The two dangerous cars were finally out of my sight. Someone should teach these two drivers how to drive properly. Then, the traffic lights went green. I pressed my accelerator and turned my stirring wheel to the left, preparing to make a left turn. However, I noticed something bright reflected on my right mirror. At first, it was a pair of small dim yellow lights. But the lights seemed to grow bigger and bigger rapidly and I immediately caught on the danger I was going to face. I could not reverse because of the motorcycle behind me. The only thing I could do was to speed up my turning and quickly change lane. Yes, that should be it.

I pressed my accelerator even further and made a quick turn to the left, successfully entering into another lane. Or so I thought. The next moment in which I found myself was no longer me driving on the road, trying to reach the police station. Rather, I found myself lying on something soft as my head throbbed in pain like this afternoon, and blankly staring at a man's anxious face which was just above mine. His black messy hair reminded me of someone but I could not remember that person at all. With a look of relief, the man cracked a small smile as he wrapped his hands around my left hand and held it so tightly as if this was his last chance holding onto me. For the first time, my hand was actually held like this. I could feel so much care and warmth from the person, filling my heart with the warmth and love which I had lost and craved for so long. Yet I had no idea who he was, and I was totally confused as to what was happening around me.

"Thank goodness... Thank goodness... " he muttered in a quivering voice and squeezed my hand even tighter, causing me to flinch in alarm. "And happy birthday, Misaki."

* * *

 **Hello! Thank you to those who have dropped some reviews, followed and favourited this story. I have changed the names of the real-life notable universities and hospital if you have noticed. It is an intended change. There isn't a particular reason as to why I changed the names (and landmarks) but since this is fiction, I believe that there shouldn't be any restrictions on our imagination. Before I end this author's note, everything in this story is written in Mikan's perspective. What she thinks about something as positive or negative, that doesn't mean it is true in reality.**

 **Till next time ~**


	4. Re:Three

**Re:Misaki**

* * *

Re:Three

The stranger's eyes were looking at me so warmly as if I was someone very close to him, but all I could do was to stare back with a puzzled look. His warm large hands were still wrapped around my left hand, clutching very tightly, while his thumb caressed my knuckles.

"Misaki..."

Upon hearing the name, I tried to shake his hands off but a sharp pain spread across the length of my arm, from my shoulders to my wrist. I couldn't help it but winced in pain. The man finally let go of my hand and inched closer to me worriedly.

"Are you all right? The doctor said not to move too much," the man said.

"Doctor?" I looked at him quizzically. "Where am I?"

"You're at Keio State Hospital."

"How can it be? I was..." I craned my neck to my right side and saw multiples wires, tubes and machines next to my bed. "... Oh gosh."

"You was what?"

"Driving!" I snapped at the stranger and immediately regretted it.

I felt so lost and confused. It felt as if I had missed out something. I couldn't even remember how I got here. What exactly happened that made me land up in this hospital? There was a stupid mission I had to complete, and that was to claim my identity card from the police and change the name on my sister's death certificate. The stranger was obviously taken aback by my sudden outburst of anger but he seemed to be a patient person. He pulled a chair next to my bed and sat down. Before he could say anything, I quickly apologised to him.

With a soft smile, he shook his head and said, "I understand that you are feeling uncomfortable right now. So, it's okay. I won't take it too hard."

"What happened to me?" I queried.

"You met with an accident two days ago. At a 'T' junction," he explained.

"Two days ago... as in 30th?"

He nodded.

"Today's... 1st... New Year..."

"Yes," he replied with another warm smile. "Happy Birthday, Misaki."

I furrowed my eyebrows. Usually, when someone wished me happy birthday, I would be so happy. However, this time the wish wasn't for me but was for my sister. I wanted to tell this stranger that I wasn't who he thought I was but couldn't bring myself to tell him just yet because there were so many things I still did not understand.

"Hey," I called out to the stranger.

"Yes?"

"You said it was an accident. So, how did I...?"

The stranger looked distress for a moment but managed to explain the situation to me again, "A car was speeding and it crashed against yours. You were badly injured, especially your left arm. That's why the doctor told me to inform you not to move your arm too much."

Then, he fell silent. I crooked an eyebrow at him, expecting him to explain more. It appeared that the situation was not as bad as I had expected it to be. It was just a car crash and I landed up in hospital because of my injuries. Well, not like I couldn't visit the police station with a broken arm. I would do it as soon as I was discharged.

"Okay. That's all?"

"Err... And your head as well. The doctor said you had a large bump at the back of your head and a few cuts on your forehead. Oh, and the doctor suggests for a CAT scan as soon as you wake up," he added. "I think it is good to go for the scan, Misaki. I hope the bump is not too dangerous."

"Of course, it isn't dangerous," I blurted. "I think I got that bump during that time I rolled down the stairs. It's a small issue."

Moreover, I had not enough money for a CAT scan. Okay, I got money but I was tight with my finance so I had to cancel this scan. At least, I had a doctor to check on my bump which I hadn't had a chance to do so previously due to the wrong identity card.

"No, no, you have to go for it. It is for your own good," he lectured, sounding almost like Anna who always nagged and lectured me about health.

"No, I'm not going. I had other better things to do and spend on."

The stranger frowned. "Stop it. What other things do you have to do? You have to rest, Misaki. I can help you to get an MC or something."

"No," I insisted firmly.

"Misaki!"

"Who are you to instruct me on what to do?" I challenged. "The truth is... I don't even know who you are. What is your relationship with Misaki? I know the two of you are close based on how you had just address 'Misaki' and... that touch too. Anyway, who are you?"

I felt so uncomfortable trying to talk to this man while lying down on my back. I wanted to sit up so badly but my head felt so heavy. Oh, the struggle!

The stranger looked immensely appalled by my words. His eyes were wavering, filled with sadness and looked as if they were going to tear up soon.

"You really can't remember me?"

With a still face, I replied in a monotone, "To be honest, I don't even know you to even have a memory of you."

Yes, it sounded harsh but it was a fact. If he was really close to Misaki, he should at least know the truth about Misaki's death and I was just someone who happened to get caught up with her mess.

"Misaki... Oh my gosh." The stranger looked away from me as he pressed his palm against his forehead, breathing rather heavily. "Oh my gosh, please. Not like that, please."

"Just saying, I'm not Misaki. I'm Mikan," I decided to add on.

The stranger turned to me again and held onto my arm, looking even more desperate in trying to 'return my memories'. "I'm Tsubasa, Misaki. Try to remember me. Please."

I let out a soft laugh and argued, "Like I said, I'm not Misaki. How can I remember you when this is my first time meeting you."

"Wait here, okay? I will call the doctor," he continued and patted my arm gently before letting go.

"Hey, there's no need to!"

Too late. That man ran out of the ward, leaving me all alone in the room. I wanted to leave this place as soon as possible. I doubt that the doctors were going to believe me if I said that I was not Misaki. I used my right arm and forcefully pushed myself up. Seeing a clip clasped in between my left index finger and three needles poking into my right arm flesh, I removed all of them by unclasping the clip and using my teeth to pluck those needles out. Then, I got out of bed and quickly walked out of the room. I could not walk fast because my ankle was hurting. It seemed that the car accident had made my ankle more swollen than it was before which was after that fall. Each step I took was torture but my left arm felt even worse. With the metal brace supporting it, I could not even move my arm freely and the metal brace was weighing my left shoulder down.

As I was walking around and searching for an exit, I looked around the hallway desperately so as to avoid any nurse or doctor who might recognise me. Some nurses walked past me, which was a relief, while some gazed at me for a moment before going back to do their own routines. Not long after, I caught sight of an elevator and headed there as quickly as possible. Just when I was about to call for the elevator, an arm appeared in front of me and blocked my way. Startled, I turned to my right and began dreading at the sight of this person who was blocking my way.

"Misaki, what are you doing here?" the stranger, Tsubasa, asked with a hint of anger in his voice. "Didn't I tell you to wait in the room?"

"Step aside," I grunted, showing my displeasure by clenching my teeth together.

Tsubasa wrapped his arm around my right arm and started pulling me away from the elevator. I struggled to break free from his hold, refusing to move my feet even as he pulled me. I had to agree that I was acting like a spoilt brat being pulled by a parent in a shopping mall.

"The doctors will check on you. Come here," Tsubasa said.

"No!"

"Misaki, be good, okay?"

Oh wow. He was treating me like a small kid. Like hell I was going back there. I needed to see the police!

"Dr Harada, I'm sorry," a male voice was heard from my back.

Before I could turn around to see who the person was, I felt something wrapping around my knees and pressing against my back. Then, I was lifted up and the face of the person behind me came to my view. The person had dark blue eyes and blonde hair. I did not have to run my fingers through his hair to tell if he was blessed with silkily smooth hair. He also had small sharp nose, making him look like a perfect model from South Korea. Well, in short, this man was no doubt good-looking and had to be a mixed-blood as he looked a little Asian despite having these physical Caucasian characteristics. Remembering those days when I was in high school, many girls were cooing over a boy in my class. He was half-Japanese and half-American. He could speak good English so many girls tried to get close to him by asking him if he could tutor them English. I wanted to talk to the boy but didn't get the chance to because I was too afraid to approach him. Anyway, I snapped out of my trance and quickly realised that I was being carried by this blonde man in... bridal style.

I felt myself stiffen as my cheeks grow warm. I had never imagined myself being carried this way. I had seen this in movies but I had never thought it could ever happen to me. Oh my gosh. What should I do? I could feel my lips becoming rather tight, rendering me speechless despite how much I wanted to retaliate like earlier. My eyes lowered and caught sight of the blonde man's name tag pinned on the left side of his white coat.

"Dr... Ruka... Nogi..." I read out the name softly and hesitantly glanced at the blonde man again.

So, he was a mixed after all. And a doctor! _Crap!_

"Put me down," I said, staring daggers at him this time.

"I will put you down as soon as we are back to your ward," he replied dully. "Stop creating troubles for us, okay? Even your... boyfriend is worried."

The word 'boyfriend' came out rather different from the rest of words which he had been saying. It sounded as if he resented that word with the emphasis on the 'b' and 'fr' sounds. Maybe it was my imagination or hearing problems, but when I looked at Tsubasa's face, he appeared rather displeased by the presence of this blonde doctor. Oh, Misaki, I did not know that you were the heroine of your own drama. I had watched enough movies to deduce that these two guys here had some sort of relationship with Misaki, and Misaki had probably chosen Tsubasa between these two. Well, that was interesting. I did not want to get caught up with this love saga.

"I will bite you and kick you if you don't put me down now," I threatened with a smirk.

However, the doctor seemed like he wasn't going to let me win him. He continued walking with Tsubasa next to him and the other doctors and nurses in front of us. I realised throughout our conversation since he carried me up, Ruka hadn't looked at me once. How rude. Maybe that was why Misaki chose Tsubasa who was so nice and warm to her.

"Heh. As if you would do that, Dr Harada," he whispered back, finally giving me a quick glance before looking ahead again.

Once again, I did not know why... but after hearing his words, I could feel my heart racing and I was totally lost for words.

Just when we were back to the ward, the blonde placed me on the bed and left without saying a word. Meanwhile, Tsubasa was speaking to a doctor and two nurses were tending to me. I tried to be good, just for this moment as the nurses were inserting some needles which were connected to some tubes into my arm. I did not want to get hurt by those needles though. Inserting them back into my arm was already painful. After the nurses had done so, the doctor came to me while the nurses signalled Tsubasa to leave the room.

"Misaki, I will be waiting outside. See you later," Tsubasa assured as he gave me a weak smile before leaving the ward.

Seeing him so nice and patient with me, it somehow made me feel guilty of my own actions. If I were Misaki, how would she behave? Would she retaliate? Would she seek comfort from Tsubasa? But I wasn't Misaki so it was natural for me to reject him and other people who were connected to her... right?

"Dr Harada, please give me your full name."

I turned my head to look at the doctor who was standing next to my bed. He was holding a writing board and a pen in his right hand. Staring back at me, he prompted me again.

"What is your full name?"

"Mikan Yukihira."

The doctor crooked an eyebrow at me. "Age?"

"28... I mean, 29."

"Okay." He started scribbling something down on his board. "Occupation?"

"Social worker. I'm a humanitarian," I replied.

"Highest qualification?"

"Bachelor's degree in Psychology... oh, if you are going to count Postgraduate diploma in Counselling as a qualification, maybe that is."

I had no idea where this was heading to and why he was asking me these personal questions, but I thought it was rather good for me to prove my identity in front of this doctor.

"When did you start working in Keio State University?"

"Huh? I just told you that I'm a social worker," I interjected with a frown. "I'm not Misaki."

"What is your sister's full name?"

The doctor seemed to ignore my words, no doubt pissing me off. Asking me for my sister's name? Really?

"Apparently, Misaki had changed her family name from Yukihira to Harada. She was called Misaki Harada," I answered in a harsh and impatient voice.

"What is her highest qualification?"

"PhD, duh."

"What is she studying now?"

"What? How would I know?" I leaned towards the doctor and stared hard at him. "And she's dead now. She can no longer study even if she was supposedly studying something."

The doctor cleared his throat and continued, "Which city are you come from?"

"Nagoya."

"Nagoya... okay... Can you recall how you were landed up here?"

"A road accident," I replied. "I don't know the exact details but I know that there was this car that went so fast..."

I paused. What came after that scene was fuzzy to me. All I remembered was that bright yellow flashlight reflected on the side mirror and then finding myself in the hospital at the next moment. What happened in between was like an empty blank space.

"... And I guess I was hit by that car after that."

The doctor glanced briefly at me, letting out a soft 'hmm' as if he was thinking of something based on my response. But he immediately returned his attention back to whatever thing on his writing board and continued writing again.

"Okay. I will schedule a CAT scan about an hour later. Yesterday, the neuro-department wanted to check that bump on your head but you were in the AE for quite long. So, we were actually planning to do it today for you." The doctor stopped writing and inserted his pen into his chest pocket. "Anyway, at the mean time, please wait here for further instructions. The nurses will come and get you later."

Actually, I did not mind going for a head scan. I would like to assure myself that the bump wasn't as fatal as what I was going through at this moment. However, upon thinking about the cost of a scan, together with the surgery and other hospital bills, I scowled. I did not have much money with me. I had Misaki's wallet but I didn't think it would be advisable to use hers either. Should I escape from this place again?

Just as the doctor was about to walk away, I called out to him with a forced smile, "Do you think the bump is very serious? Maybe it was just a minor thing. There is no need to go, I'm sure of it."

The doctor turned, pulling a straight face at me. "Dr Harada, one thing for sure... you need more check-ups. And I know it hurts... but this is not the way to let go of your pain."

Then, he left with the two nurses following behind him. I let my body fall against the bed, unintentionally hitting my poor bump at the back of my head against the pillow. It did hurt a little even though the pillow was soft. Staring aimlessly at the white grid ceiling, I let out a heavy and tired sigh as I contemplated about the doctor's questions and his final words. I did not understand what he had meant but one thing for sure... The doctor still thought I was Misaki.

"Misaki?"

I tilted my head towards the direction where the door was. Tsubasa was peering into the ward, looking at me expectantly as if he was seeking my permission to enter the ward. I shifted my gaze away from him, still feeling guilty for making everything so hard for him earlier.

"What? Just come in," I said in a soft voice.

"Okay..." Tsubasa walked in and like earlier, he pulled a chair next to my bed and sat down. "Misaki, I have heard from the doctor that you are going for a scan later. That's good."

"Not like I want to go for it though. He insisted."

Then, he laughed weakly at my words. "I think it is best to check it. After all, the doctor suspected that you might have... retrograde amnesia."

 _Huh..._

"Or maybe some psychological confusion... like identity... because of your sister's death..."

"I'm not confused. I'm really not Misaki," I repeated this sentence for the umpteenth time, glaring at the man while noticing how pained he was looking right at this moment. "Let's not talk about this, okay? I'm getting tired of everything. I want to get out of this place fast. By the way, what's your name?"

Tsubasa furrowed his brows, probably finding my question weird. Despite that, he responded, "Just call me Tsubasa like you always do."

"Tsubasa what?" I prompted.

"An... Andou."

"Andou... Okay. I will address you as Andou," I said in a rapid staccato as I gave Tsubasa an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry to say this, but I don't feel comfortable calling someone whom I have just met by the first name. Please pardon me."

Seeing how dejected Tsubasa was, I felt even worse than before. It was like... I had just broken his heart or rejected him using Misaki's identity. I swore this was the worst thing I could ever do to my sister's relationship. But what could I do in this situation? I could not just play along in the shoes of Misaki and pretended to be her until I got back my identity. It would be extremely weird for others to see 'Misaki' walking around one day but found out that the real Misaki was all along dead the following day.

"Andou, do you have any idea if my mother knew about my condition?" I queried.

He nodded in response. "Yes, she visited you yesterday but left after an hour. She had to return to Nagoya with your sister's body for cremation."

"Oh, I see."

I fell silent as I realised it was rather too late for me to attend my sister's funeral. I wondered if my identity card was still at the police station. It was highly unlikely that the police was still holding onto it though. Gosh! What was I supposed to do?

"About your sister's death, the police investigators found a small blood stain on the curtain in her hotel room. The lab results showed 100% match."

"What do you mean?" I stared hard at the man, feeling rather confused by this finding. "Why is there blood on the curtain? I thought it was a suicide?"

"We thought so too at first because there was a written letter left on the bed," Tsubada explained. "But there was something weird about the letter. It wasn't signed off. So, we are evaluating this whole situation again. The letter might or might not be written by her. Furthermore, with the new evidence, there is a likelihood that your sister didn't die because of suicide. We are still looking into this case, so don't worry too much. I will seek justice for your sister as soon as possible."

I suddenly felt so overwhelmed by the information. So, Misaki didn't suicide? But rather, she was murdered? Was she being pushed down the building during some sort of struggle? I had seen crime-watch documentaries and there were many instances whereby the victims were accidentally killed during their struggle to break free from their opponents. I wanted to cover my eyes with my hands to suppress the growing stinging sensation on my eyes, but one of my arm was handicapped while the other had a whole lot of needles sticking out of my flesh. Oh, Misaki... What exactly happened in that hotel? _Please tell me, Misaki!_

I looked at Tsubasa again and asked, "You said there was a letter. What was it about?"

"I can't say. Sorry."

"What do you mean again? I'm her sister!" I argued, clenching my right fist angrily. "I need to know what she wrote. I need to know why she died. I need to know..."

My throat tightened as I felt something wet thrilled down from my left eye to the top edge of my ear lobe. I was stunned. My mind went totally blank due to that weird sensation. I had forgotten what I wanted to tell Tsubasa. I had forgotten what to think at this moment. All I could think was Misaki. Only Misaki, my sister. I missed her so badly that her death had only made me more miserable than ever.

I couldn't cry, I had always told myself. No use crying over spilled milk. No use crying over things that had already happened. No use crying over things that hurt you. Leave them be, and you will get over it. All these were always running in my mind whenever I felt like bursting into tears. Even I was amazed by how I had managed to control my pain and sadness for many years. But only Misaki...

"It's alright, Misaki..." I could hear Tsubasa's soft voice, sounding like he was trying to comfort me. "I'm sure you have forgotten about me and our relationship... Explaining what the letter is about would be difficult for now."

I shook my head. _No, I don't care. Please tell me now!_

"But Misaki, no matter what happens, I will stay next to you."

 _Stop it. I am not Misaki for goodness sake!_

"I notice... even after you have lost some of your memories, you are always crying for the same person..."

I couldn't help but frowned at Tsubasa, warning him to shut his mouth up and give me some peace to regain my composure. I had to stop the tears from welling up. However, he ignored my stare and looked away, downcasted.

"You are always thinking of her. Crying for her. The first time we met... you were crying for help... asking me to protect her." He then lowered his head, totally hiding his face from me. "I'm sorry... I'm very sorry, Misaki... for not keeping this promise. But..."

He turned back to face me again. This time, I could see tears welling up in his eyes too but I could tell that he had been holding back his tears all these while. I felt extremely bad for him as I admitted that I had carried some 'attitude' while trying to justify my identity. At the same time, I felt envy for my sister who was deeply loved by this man. The one who should be lying on this bed was Misaki, not me. The one who should receive his affections was Misaki, not me. The one who should be dead was me, not Misaki...

"... despite everything, a promise is still a promise, Misaki."

I felt his warm hands wrap around mine again. For some unknown reason, his touch made me tear up more and I really detested this grave feeling mounting in my chest. Tsubasa knitted his brows together as he continued to stare hard at me. Despite my clouded vision, I could see a hint of determinism in his eyes.

"Suicide or not..."

Upon hearing him speak again, I found myself holding my breath, waiting in anticipation for his next few words. Little did I know that the following words would made me feel even worse than before. They made me feel as if Misaki was not the sister which I had always described her to be. Intelligent, capable, street-smart, heartless, didn't care about her family, shut her sister off as if she was some annoying fly all the time. Other than those, there were so many things I had yet to know about her. On this very day, I had realised that _Misaki..._

"... I will make sure the truth will be surfaced up and bring justice to her."

 _... had loved me all along._

* * *

 **Hi! Sorry for the long wait! I am still working on the next chapter (been procrastinating since last year...) so please be patient with me.  
** **Can't believe it is nearly halfway through the year and I hadn't been logging into FF . net for many months, time sure flies so fast!** **I received some encouraging reviews and follows for this story since the first chapter, and I would like to thank you guys for that.** **To be honest, I am not sure if this fanfic is good so far and I also wonder if this fanfic is interesting to the readers. I guess it is normal for an author to have some insecurities about his/her story (^^")**

 **Anyway, see you all in the next chapter!**

P.S. If you are reading this fanfic on other mirror websites such as _gofanfiction . club_ , just to let you know that this fanfic is originally posted in _fanfiction . net_ and only in _fanfiction . net_. That gofanfiction site is definitely a dodgy website, sorry to say this. I was so upset to discover that my fanfictions and other authors' fanfictions were 'stolen' and mirrored across to another website. If this isn't plagiarism, I don't know what this is.


End file.
